Huge Mistakes

Mistakes are opportunities to learn and make better choices in the future. Yesterday, I made several and here are the lessons I have learned...

Do not eat at Cafe Fresh. Well, you can have a coffee there (it is fairtrade) and perhaps a a ready-made sweet, and if you're not in a hurry you can order one of their sandwiches to go. I used to go to this cute cafe all the time, until I got in a fight with one of the Eastern European criminal elements who hang out there and I feared for my life, then I gave it a 8 month break. But I like the waiters, who although often slow with the food are very sweet, and their food in theory is good. So on my way to run some errands yesterday I found myself across the street and I thought why shouldn't I stop in? I ordered the latkes and salmon because, although sketchy, I thought the Eastern European vibe would ensure delicious latkes. Latkes are potato pancakes, traditional Hannuak food, made by grating potatoes and onions and frying them to a crisp. I was disappointed when my latkes arrived and they hardly looked golden brown, until I realized that these were POTATO PANCAKES, meaning they were potatoes in pancake batter. I could imagine the cooks thinking "these are awful, but apparently Jews love them" and tossing some spuds into the pan. What's even sadder is they were served with a side of potatoes, and the salmon had scales. Big Mistake.

Do not visit the Met anytime near the holidays. The thing about the holidays in New York is that the city is overrun with tourists, and smart natives know not to leave their apartments much less plan visits to incredibly popular tourist locations. But with my museum-job-weekends I couldn't help myself and I really wanted to see a few exhibits at the Met. It was packed beyond reason, beyond capacity. The saddest part is that the Met is FREE but no one, especially foreigners, know this. It's all by donation so of course they'll ring you up and say "$20 please" but all you have to do is say "I feel like giving $5" or "$1 is more in my price range" or "I'm a student" and not pay anything at all. The only real cost is the dirty look you'll get from the cashier as he hands you your little pin, but I think it is well worth it. The Italian family in front of me paid more than $200 to get in, and for what, to be jostled while vying for a better spot in front of a painting? This may also be a good time to note that the US, while cosmopolitan, is not foreign-friendly and people should either come with some basic English or a good guide which alerts them to deals.

Once in the Met things were great. I was able to hit all the temporary exhibits I was interested in and there tended to be less people in those rooms because everyone else wanted the big name artists and pieces. On previous visits in the last month I had already visited the Art and Love in Renaissance Italy which had an interesting mix of dowry gifts and tasteless erotica, and the Baroque Creche and Christmas Tree (yawn). I started with New York, N. Why? whose title I loved, but although inspired by Robert Frank, the photos were far from as interesting as his work. I stopped briefly in Calder Jewelry and I have to say the wacky, larger than necessary jewelry made me smile. Reality Check was another photography exhibit, looking at illusion in photography and I really enjoyed the multiple interpretations of "truth" and "illusion" that were explored; tiny objects looked life-sized, there was a Tokyo cityscape scene that looked utterly fake but wasn't, there were posed spontaneity and digital tricks. I am really glad I didn't miss Raqib Shaw, who's work is beyond my description; it is some of the most beautiful, brilliant colors with some of the most hideous images in over-elaborate paintings. There was also a small exhibit, Provocative Visions: Race and Identity with the work of young Black artists like Kara Walker, and I found a lot of the work captivating, especially Shine (pictured right) by Willie Cole, which you have to appreciate in person.

Do not go to the movies ever in New York, and if you must, not near the holidays, and if you must, not on Christmas or New Years. There's a Jewish tradition (Toppel singing in the background) of spending Christmas eating Chinese food and seeing new releases at the theater. This is, in theory, a smart plan if you live in the Midwest where you are one of the few Jews and your plan is foolproof. However, if you live in NY where there are quite a few Jews it is pure hell, and I know this, but somehow my sister talks me into going every year. What happens if you attempt the movies on Christmas Day is you find yourself in a huge line with some of the most obnoxious, self-entitled Jews you will ever meet, all desperately trying to trick the poor ticket-takers into letting them into the theater early. There is line cutting, there are bizarre family squabbles, there are ladies in fur coats cat fighting. It is bizarre. We were actually at the front of our line, and so we were shocked to enter the theater and find it was already half full. Somehow over 100 people managed to sneak into our theater early. We were only able to find seats within the first 10 rows and I took some small pleasure in standing up and looking at the sea of faces behind me and knowing they were all going to hell (not because they're Jewish, because they are seat-stealers). The movie theaters in Heaven will be fairly empty and I am going to have a great time.