Everything is Great

I know, it's been awhile, but that's usually a good sign. Too busy to be too self-absorbed. But a cold has thrown me a little off and so I have a little time to write.

I am in such a good place right now, and I'm really happy about it. It's been a long time since I didn't feel like I needed some sort of change; closer friends, different work, a new path for the larger life goals. I feel really satisfied with what I have, really comfortable. I have a general sense that I'm on the right path, personally and professionally. The last few months have been really busy, but very positive. I'm living amongst some really great friends and I find that I have more time to socialize than I did in school. It also helps that my coworkers are incredible, funny and supportive people who are often up for hanging out after work a few times a week, and make the work day fun as well.

Work is good, I'm feeling more on top of my projects, even as new ones pile up. I'm now running a preschool program, and 8th grader internship, an elementary school vacation camp, and doing my usual school and adult tours on top of the office work. The second cycle of the preschool and internship make it far more manageable, and the vacation camp I'm looking at as preparation for the two weeks of hell that will be the summer camp. I was able to create my own tour focusing on peace and multiculturalism which really connected me to the Cathedral as a space for the kind of education I want to do and develop. I'm working on another for April which I would like to see develop into a larger program opening the Cathedral and department up to more diverse audiences. I'm looking forward to attending a conference in April as well, and meeting other young professionals and learning about the many paths that are opening up to me.

My relationship with the boyfriend, JJ, is continuing to develop. This relationship has thrown other relationships in my life, namely familial, into perspective as well. It's bit shocking, and incredibly grounding, to realize in this time of self-reliance and independence, of self-analysis and blogging, that there are some parts of yourself that you can only learn about through another person. I think NY is a fabulous case in point, where you can be such an individual and not interact with anyone if you choose not to, but it's in the interactions that I find the city the most exciting and frustrating. One of the challenges (and there are many) of our relationship is that JJ lives in Boston. I went for the other weekend and we had an incredible time; salsa lessons in the kitchen with his Puerto Rican flatmates, walks around his cute neighborhood, introducing him to fish and chips at an authentic Irish chipper, just spending time together. And then he came here for a few days the next week, and it was almost like he lived in NY; we had an impromptu picnic on my lunch hour, a romantic Italian dinner at our favorite restaurant, I spent my day off with him doing nothing special. I am having a lot of fun, and I am surprised about how this relationship has developed, it's far from what I imagined when this relationship began.

Another aspect of my life I'm enjoying is my neighborhood. More friends are moving here all the time, and I love the mix of stores and people who make up the area. On the weekends I love to sit at a tiny neighborhood cafe and have a tuna sandwich. It sounds simple, but it's really delicious and they let me sit with my book for as long as I want, although I usually get up after a few hours when the tables are full and more people are coming in. Today I tried something new, a walnut honey-glazed brie toast and it was delicious. The people who work there are nice and are getting to know me. I feel that I know a number of people int he neighborhood, people in the streets and the shops, that I wave at or Buenas Dias or Sabach al-Hir as I walk along.

Insight

I had such a scare.

It was a really busy morning, preparing for students that never came, but we didn't know that and so I was running around getting materials ready. And then I was told one my students was asking for me, a girl I had worked with this past semester. When I first saw her I thought she was just stopping in, hoping for a free tour, but then I realized this is a school day, and that she shouldn't be here. I took her someplace private and we began to talk, she began to cry, and I thought "Oh god, please don't be pregnant." She wasn't, but she was in need of some help and someone to take her seriously, which I hope I was able to give her. 

This was a girl I had only seen for a few hours once a week for just a semester. We had never talked privately before or seen each other outside of my class. I feel somewhat flattered that she came to speak with me, but also frightened. How is it that she doesn't have anyone she trusts more than me in her life? When she is so scared, why walk 20 blocks in the pouring rain to me? 

Now I am viewing the work I'm doing so differently. I have always known that education was much more about the relationships people form and the support they feel than the topic being taught or learned, but it is so much safer to stick to content and far from emotional exposure. I've thought of myself as a kid; someone barely out of school with no real responsibilities, someone who jokes around with students and isn't called "Miss". Of course little kids see me as an adult, but I assumed teenagers saw me as not very far from where they are at. Now I understand that by teenagers I'm seen as an adult, someone who is capable and able to help. I suddenly feel incredibly responsible, but uncertain if I can live up to the children's expectations and needs. From now on I see myself, and the relationships I will have with the students differently. I really want to be that person that a student can come to for anything and I will have the right numbers and solutions to their problems. 

Huge Mistakes

Mistakes are opportunities to learn and make better choices in the future. Yesterday, I made several and here are the lessons I have learned...

Do not eat at Cafe Fresh. Well, you can have a coffee there (it is fairtrade) and perhaps a a ready-made sweet, and if you're not in a hurry you can order one of their sandwiches to go. I used to go to this cute cafe all the time, until I got in a fight with one of the Eastern European criminal elements who hang out there and I feared for my life, then I gave it a 8 month break. But I like the waiters, who although often slow with the food are very sweet, and their food in theory is good. So on my way to run some errands yesterday I found myself across the street and I thought why shouldn't I stop in? I ordered the latkes and salmon because, although sketchy, I thought the Eastern European vibe would ensure delicious latkes. Latkes are potato pancakes, traditional Hannuak food, made by grating potatoes and onions and frying them to a crisp. I was disappointed when my latkes arrived and they hardly looked golden brown, until I realized that these were POTATO PANCAKES, meaning they were potatoes in pancake batter. I could imagine the cooks thinking "these are awful, but apparently Jews love them" and tossing some spuds into the pan. What's even sadder is they were served with a side of potatoes, and the salmon had scales. Big Mistake.

Do not visit the Met anytime near the holidays. The thing about the holidays in New York is that the city is overrun with tourists, and smart natives know not to leave their apartments much less plan visits to incredibly popular tourist locations. But with my museum-job-weekends I couldn't help myself and I really wanted to see a few exhibits at the Met. It was packed beyond reason, beyond capacity. The saddest part is that the Met is FREE but no one, especially foreigners, know this. It's all by donation so of course they'll ring you up and say "$20 please" but all you have to do is say "I feel like giving $5" or "$1 is more in my price range" or "I'm a student" and not pay anything at all. The only real cost is the dirty look you'll get from the cashier as he hands you your little pin, but I think it is well worth it. The Italian family in front of me paid more than $200 to get in, and for what, to be jostled while vying for a better spot in front of a painting? This may also be a good time to note that the US, while cosmopolitan, is not foreign-friendly and people should either come with some basic English or a good guide which alerts them to deals.

Once in the Met things were great. I was able to hit all the temporary exhibits I was interested in and there tended to be less people in those rooms because everyone else wanted the big name artists and pieces. On previous visits in the last month I had already visited the Art and Love in Renaissance Italy which had an interesting mix of dowry gifts and tasteless erotica, and the Baroque Creche and Christmas Tree (yawn). I started with New York, N. Why? whose title I loved, but although inspired by Robert Frank, the photos were far from as interesting as his work. I stopped briefly in Calder Jewelry and I have to say the wacky, larger than necessary jewelry made me smile. Reality Check was another photography exhibit, looking at illusion in photography and I really enjoyed the multiple interpretations of "truth" and "illusion" that were explored; tiny objects looked life-sized, there was a Tokyo cityscape scene that looked utterly fake but wasn't, there were posed spontaneity and digital tricks. I am really glad I didn't miss Raqib Shaw, who's work is beyond my description; it is some of the most beautiful, brilliant colors with some of the most hideous images in over-elaborate paintings. There was also a small exhibit, Provocative Visions: Race and Identity with the work of young Black artists like Kara Walker, and I found a lot of the work captivating, especially Shine (pictured right) by Willie Cole, which you have to appreciate in person.

Do not go to the movies ever in New York, and if you must, not near the holidays, and if you must, not on Christmas or New Years. There's a Jewish tradition (Toppel singing in the background) of spending Christmas eating Chinese food and seeing new releases at the theater. This is, in theory, a smart plan if you live in the Midwest where you are one of the few Jews and your plan is foolproof. However, if you live in NY where there are quite a few Jews it is pure hell, and I know this, but somehow my sister talks me into going every year. What happens if you attempt the movies on Christmas Day is you find yourself in a huge line with some of the most obnoxious, self-entitled Jews you will ever meet, all desperately trying to trick the poor ticket-takers into letting them into the theater early. There is line cutting, there are bizarre family squabbles, there are ladies in fur coats cat fighting. It is bizarre. We were actually at the front of our line, and so we were shocked to enter the theater and find it was already half full. Somehow over 100 people managed to sneak into our theater early. We were only able to find seats within the first 10 rows and I took some small pleasure in standing up and looking at the sea of faces behind me and knowing they were all going to hell (not because they're Jewish, because they are seat-stealers). The movie theaters in Heaven will be fairly empty and I am going to have a great time.

Tis the Season

I am so used to working within the Cathedral that at times I forget that it is a Christian building. As artwork is reinstalled into the space, though, I am reminded. A month ago an icon went into the Narthex and I was struck when I first saw it, so Jesus-y. And at the beginning of this week a creche scene was added and for a moment I thought "What is this doing here?" There's a story my mom likes to tell, and I forget if it was me or my sister, but when we were growing up in Indiana we walked past a manger scene and one of us called out "I know who that is, that's baby Moshe!" And now here I am fielding calls about service times and being "Merry Christmas"ed left, right and center. It might sound like I'm complaining, but I'm genuinely enjoying it; I love to see how people connect with this place, and this is a rare space in New York where people generally are kind and expect to have nice interactions with others. 

The other weekend I went to Boston to hang out with JJ, which was really pretty wonderful. He has a nice, clean apartment with only one fault, it's in the middle of nowhere. It's the opposite of NY as i found out when i wanted dinner and there was absolutely no way i could walk to any restaurant and none delivered food. I was reduced to ordering Dominos and being charged ridiculous mount of money for pizza I didn't even want. We were able to hang out downtown a bit and in less than 2 days I was able to have clam chowder twice! I've had a love affair with clam chowder (Boston style) for as long as I remember. I ate it with oyster crackers when we used to visit my Dad at work in Indiana, and on our family trip to Boston I had it three meals a day for 5 days straight. I introduced "chowda" to JJ, who liked it and kept trying to pronounce the soup in Boston style with his Dominican accent. 

The other big bonus to working at the Cathedral is holiday parties. Of course, by "holiday" they mean Christmas, and nary a dreidel or latke was seen (though where could they have put one with every surface covered in green/red lights or tinsel?). There were department parties, office parties, cathedral-wide parties and a few after-parties. The best Norman Rockwell moments were at the educators' party, where we gathered around a piano played by a genuine Broadway pianist and caroled away. The funniest was the after-party at a coworkers where one person had three too many. At the Cathedral-wide party I found myself sitting with the two other Jews on staff. Tonight is non-Christmas dinner with my family in New York. 

There's a Jew in the Church

I know, it's been a very long time. This goes back to the fact that when I have things to really write about, I don't have time to write about them. Which, on a slow night like this, means there's nothing going on so I might as well write...

So the Cathedral. Every time I tell anyone I know that I'm working at the Cathedral, I usually get a wide-eyed stare or some laughs, and I agree it is kind of funny. What I love is when a Jew wanders into the Cathedral, sometimes even an Orthodox couple on Shabbat comes in because it's free, or an Israeli backpacker, and we get into a conversation and I throw in some Hebrew and my name. I'm always asked "Why are you working here?" I'll often respond with "The synagogues aren't hiring" or "Affirmative action" but the truth is it's a great position for me. I get to work within museum education, doing both the background stuff as well as the front and center facilitating, and I do it within a socially conscious and community oriented space. And I'm constantly learning, albeit usually concerning Christianity, but also I make new interfaith connections all the time and I think even by being there I'm helping to put the Cathedral's mission into action.

That's not to say that there aren't the odd moments, or the ones I just find funny. During one liturgical event an older clergy man walked past me with a huge cross, and I just had to say, "That's quite a cross to bear." I did not get a laugh. I had to sit through a Safe Church meeting and learn how not to molest children which included three (count them THREE) prayer breaks during which I left the room. I also get the same question "Why are you working here?" from church members and it sound a bit more like I'm breaking into their bank. At one meeting I introduced myself and a woman said "Well, I've never met an Israeli Christian before," and I had to say, "You still haven't, I'm not Israeli or Christian," which burst her bubble I think. And because the Cathedral is a church, we get a lot of homeless people or people with general mental difficulties coming in, which is rarely a problem. Today I was having a conversation with one such lady, a regular, when she fell asleep, standing up next to me. I guess I've lost my touch.

There are a lot of great events that I'm enjoying at the Cathedral as well, and I especially enjoy them if I'm not working them. For St. Francis Day I was able to sit through the service, sitting just in front of the large dogs section. The music for the service included whale noises, which drove the dogs crazy, and it was like being in a zoo at feeding time. I really loved Halloween, when the Cathedral showed Lon Chaney's Phantom of the Opera complete with organ accompaniment (sometimes hammed up). Then there was the Procession of the Ghouls which came out, looking like characters from Pan's Labyrinth which is truly frightening. There was an after party for 20- and 30-somethings afterwards with incredible food and drinks, and I won the raffle, though I'm still not sure what I won, I should pick whatever it is up tomorrow.

And I'm really enjoying the people in my life. Everyone at work is great and they each come from such interesting backgrounds. I especially enjoy my co-worker B, who works both the office and the upstairs with me and who helps me out in every way. I'm also so glad to have my NY friends, of course Anmol, but also my T-baum ladies, I got quite a neighborhood turn-out for the debates and election at our neighborhood bar, and now I breakfast with Will every Wednesday. I'm also seeing a really sweet guy, and I guess you can blame the Cathedral because he is far, far from Jewish. I'm really enjoying our time together; we've seen some good and bad movies, I've introduced him to hummus (which he loves) and he introduced me to mofongo (which I love) and I we're going to continue sharing our cultures with each other. Already my Spanish is improving muy rapido.

Connect-icuting

Every now and again I get to experience a great New York moment. It gives me a little bounce in my step, clouds over the smell of sewage in the streets and makes even the men fighting in the street somewhat familiar and unthreatening. I had a great day today, my second day of training at my new job and already big things are happening. After work I headed downtown to Greenwich Village to meet up with an old friend and I found everything was bright and cheerful. 2 kids were blowing bubbles, and as I passed them I let my finger pop a bubble just at my eye height, I turned to see the boy who had sent the bubble my way grinning, and I grinned back. After a really nice vegan dinner with my commune-loving, but not freegan, friend Orly, I sat next to a very nice, very deaf, architect and we chatted about the kinds of things that you talk about on the slow 1 train home.

It's always easier to appreciate NY when you've been away for a bit. I felt downright nostalgic when I came back from Israel almost a month ago, which is slowly fading. For Labor Day weekend I was able to have a wonderful weekend in Connecticut thanks to my wonderful friends Anmol and Roberto. The weekend was more or less planned by Roberto and I in order to trick Anmol into the great outdoors, but it ended up being wonderful for all of us. We stayed with Roberto in his huge apartment which is nestled into the dorms of the private boarding school where he works. The architecture of the school itself is a mix of Hogwarts and every boys boarding school you have ever seen in any film. This lent it a fascinating but also eerie atmosphere that sheltered Anmol and I took full advantage of scaring ourselves over.

We did lovely little Connecticut things. We went to see a film in a local barn-turned-artsy theater. The film was Elegy, which was good but has a surprise sad ending (don't they all) and an unqualified amount of time looking at Penelope Cruze's breasts, though even the gay men seemed to find it tasteful. We ate at local diner with placards on the wall reminding us to treat our servers with respect and to take our goshdarned hurry elsewhere. My waffle was drowned in strawberry preserves fresh from the fields. We drove on hilly back streets surrounded by farm houses which would have been really scary had we been in West Virginia. We walked on grass so green and soft that the neighbor's lawn looked sad in comparison.

We also took two trips to New Haven to visit the excellent museum and van Goghs at Yales art museum as well as my old childhood friend Aaron Feinstein, who is now president of Yale Medical School's student body. I have to say all my old guy friends from South Bend have turned out to be incredibly accomplished, smart and kind young men. Why did I ever leave???

Alarming

It's been a long day at home, with the internet that I'm stealing going in and out sporadically. I'm waiting to get legal internet and a telephone so we can buzz people in from the comfort of our apartment.

Yesterday the fire alarm began beeping every few minutes to let us know the battery was dead. I found this a bit suspicious since it had been beeping when I first moved in, all of 13 days ago, and they said they had fixed it then. I got in contact with Kevin the company guy, who in turn gets in touch with our manager Wellington, who in turn contacts Alex the super to fix things. I first emailed Kevin at 9:40 am. When I hadn't recieved a response I had Ciara contact him at the same time that I did, around 2 pm, and we got a prompt phone answer that it was being taken care of and soemone would be right over. By 5:30 I was nervous, and so I called again, and sure enough Kevin was shocked and said everyone had gone home and that Alex was in a meeting. I asked him to ask Alex, who lives in the building, to stop by after the meeting and take it down.

I went out with my friend Joy and when we got back around 9, the beeping was still going and Kevin was no longer responding to either my emails or phone calls. Joy, no taller but far sassier than I, got on our step-stool which meant she was still a good 2 feet from the ceiling, and began hitting the alarm like a pinata. After a few good hits the battery came out, but that didn't stop the beeping, and after a few more swings the entire alarm was hanging by a few wires and had given up it's screams for life.

When Kevin emailed me back around 10 pm to say that he was really trying to fix the situation I told him it was no problem, but could he send Alex by tomorrow to fix the hole in our ceiling?

So Alex just came and we had a nice little laugh as he took down the alarms (we have to be careful for the next week or so not to set any fires). In the next few hours the Time Warner guys should arrive and I can't wait to see what kind of fiasco will occurs, but Alex gave me his direct number so he can be here when they drill through our wall.